Chosen...Precious...Treasured

Papa (More from 1997)

2010-11-15T20:31:00.000-08:00

Papa,
Just a few days ago you showed me what goes in that waste place (in my heart)! That weeping prophet revealed it to me in the 33rd chapter of his book (Jeremiah). He said that you would fill the place with joy and gladness! Well, I don't know how you'll do it, but I believe you Papa! He said-you also told him you would fill the waste land with the voice of the bride and the bridegroom! Wow Papa-you will make it a beautiful place full of joyous inhabitants. Lord I am so excited that you can bring health to this broken heart.
The other day Papa showed me what He had done to that charred part of my heart-or what He started to do. The first thing I saw was that He had filled in the spray-painted heart. It was on that black wall and I guess it just looked empty, so He made it full! Wow! There were a few things in the room that had been salvaged and painted. I couldn't stay there too long. It was still too painful and Papa understood.

Smoke Stained Walls...

2010-10-25T19:38:00.000-07:00

Gently He waited by blackened, smoke stained walls. I couldn't leave Him standing there-He was waiting for me. We stood there together looking at the Blackness.There was an outline of a pink heart spray-painted there. I don't quite know why.He implored if we could go in. I told Him no, but He told me we must. He waited, looking at me, but I was afraid.
I let Him open the door to this chamber. Inside, all was burnt, everything in the room was black, with no sign of color-it hurt me to look-I could not even recognize anything.
Papa picked up a stump of something, or He pointed to it and said "That is your trust." And, I realized that He was right, because I felt that He was showing me how charred my trust really is. There was only a little bit that was untouched by flame.
I guess the fire that hit this room took everything~or at least tried to. No one was there to begin cleaning. Papa just asked if we could leave the door open.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your path straight.
What does your "trust" chamber look like? Is it full of life, trying to grow, burned up, or still on fire? God can work on even the most horrendous disasters. Look to Him and ask Him to heal your broken heart.

Jenn's Writings from ~1997

2010-10-23T18:51:00.000-07:00

I want to share some of these things I wrote as I processed parts of my life many years ago. This will be a series of poems, and sort of allegorical journal entries from around 1997ish, when I was 24! I hope they bring you some healing words of comfort. (I may even throw in some newbies, since I am finding room to heal from some old and new wounds again;)

Jeremiah 17

Yes, the heart is a deceitful thing.
God has been working on mine, for mine for a while now. In the last few months however, I told Him, he could repair some damaged areas.
Just yesterday, I went to find Him. Papa (God) led me to an utterly horrid place that wreaked of urine. The floors of this room were stained with all kinds of waste, but somoeon was there scrubbing. Who would want to clean this wasted part of my life up I thought, and then He turned and looked up at me from his hands and knees...It was my love, Jesus. He showed me that the waste was cleaning off the floor and undeneath it all was a normal floor, and not destroyed. For a minute I wanted to help Him, but Papa wouldn't let me. I figured he could do a better job.
Today, I came into Papa's throne room and He invited me to go back to the construction site (my heart). I was surprised to see the "waste place" clean and shining-I guess I need to fill it with something, but not yet. Maybe Jesus wants to use it. Papa said we needed to move on to another area. I was not at all happy because I saw the direction He was going and I wanted to pull Him back...(To Be Continued.)

The Blog Name

2010-10-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, I felt bad for not telling you more of the why I chose this name thing-so here are some of the verses and reasons I have:)

Chosen and Precious

Psalm 33:12:12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people whom he has chosen as his heritage!

(1 Peter 2:9) But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
11Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. 12 Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.

Ephesians 1:2-4:
Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ,
4just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him In love

2 Thessalonians 2:13
13 -14Meanwhile, we've got our hands full continually thanking God for you, our good friends—so loved by God! God picked you out as his from the very start. Think of it: included in God's original plan of salvation by the bond of faith in the living truth. This is the life of the Spirit he invited you to through the Message we delivered, in which you get in on the glory of our Master, Jesus Christ.

John 15:19:19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

Treasured

Deuteronomy 7:6:
6"For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth.

Zechariah 9:16:
16On that day the LORD their God will save them, as the flock of his people;for like the jewels of a crown they shall shine on his land.

Malachi 3:17:"They shall be mine, says the LORD of hosts, in the day when I make up my treasured possession, and I will spare them as a man spares his son who serves him.

7But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

Scriptures really say more than I ever could. Let God speak and all creation bow in humble silence to His awesome wonder!

Just BE

2009-08-07T20:41:00.000-07:00

My friend is relaunching this neat site about Being yourself! Please check it out...Just BEeeee your BEautiful self:) Come follow...http://onbeingyou.blogspot.com/

Back to School: Learning

2009-07-30T05:16:00.000-07:00

I am not sure how long I will be "back." I'm not sure how much I can "do." I do know that Jesus Christ can do all things through me~if I am living by faith and letting Him love through me.

Guess I could stop there, but here goes...I am in the "tween" part of going back to work~waiting to hear from schools/ principals to see if they may need a teacher for this school year. I knew I would have to "wait" until the last minute because of the economy and so many teachers fired/ looking for jobs.

Enough said, huh. Well, I am also considering taking online courses to become a media specialist/ instructional tech (fancy words for your child's school librarian). This is the first time I have actually been excited about the possibility of going "back to school" in a long time! I felt so tired of school after 7 years ( I really took my time~and decided to teach elementary rather than preschool aged kids!) So, now that I want to go back, I am again being asked to wait.

I also need to find a childcare that I feel is perfect for my only son! (Yeah right!) That could be a whole other post, I think. Anyhow, I have looked at about 5-6 over the summer, and I am yet to be awed by any of them. Bummer! I have found a few I like, but I was just hoping to walk in and think to myself (Oh, this is the place!) and that has not happened yet.

Well, the school year in Georgia will begin in 2 days for kids, so I am either a hopeless optimist or just hopeless! Pray for me-I would love to pray for you too! Please leave your request in comments or email me:)

A Bit More Rested (In Him)

2009-06-25T20:42:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the long haitus. (sp?) The week after I wrote last was much more rest filled and I am thankful. Your prayers are powerful!
I am now on a vacation I never thought would happen at this stage in our life?! We are renting a "beach house" (guest quarter) from someone I emailed on a home exchange site. I am so thankful to be here and sort of being able to afford it! It is a small space for the 3 of us, but so close to the beach. I will try to post a few pics soon so you can see our fun.
I really just wanted you all to know how thankful I am that God works in us and around us through each other to lift our burdens and carry them for us too. Thank you again for your God honoring prayers and love-I feel them:)
Lovingly praying for you too,
Jenn

Tired

2009-06-04T20:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, you too? I am very much feeling exhausted...Whether it be from lack of sleep due to late night English classes I am teaching or arguing with my spy, I am only half sure. Whew! I somehow have the energy and desire to post something tonight. Somehow it helps me process.
What am I doing? I want to fly when conflicts arise now. I don't have the fight left in me. You know the fight or flight reflex during stressful situations?
I am in a dilemma-a pickle-up a paddle without a canoe, if you will. No one can really help me but God and I want to listen to Him.
I come up with my own half-way solutions, but they are far from complete. I need completeness in Him. I want to rest in His grip, but I feel so trapped in some ways (as we all can, I guess.)
Where is my escape? Psalm 121. I always come back to this, my favorite Psalm.
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Please pray for wisdom and discernment.
To listen to this Psalm
(find the little speaker at top or bottom:)

Hip, Hip, Hooray Song!

2009-05-29T20:56:00.000-07:00

I just have to share this cuteness with you. Last Saturday after my Sugarshine awoke from a good nap, he let loose a toot in my arms. To this, his daddy said "Was that a tiger in your butt?" Sugarshine gave the reply of "No." Then (I) mommy asked "Was it a lion?" "No...It was a hip, hip, hooray song!" He told us! We both started cracking up of course and couldn't keep this hilarity to ourselves. So, next time you let out a little hot air-just remember to celebrate; it's just your hip, hip, hooray song!

For Such a Time

2009-05-14T19:52:00.000-07:00

I have been on vacation-obviously!!! I thought I could keep blogging and visiting family while trying to heal a bit, but that was not possible. So, now, I think I am back and hope you will forgive me for the huge lapse of time I have been gone:)

I am not sure where to begin exactly. So much has happened in my small world and I am amazed at how God shows concern for such a one as me so often-even in my unfaithfulness to Him.

I want to meet with Him daily, but then get caught up again and again with some trivial thing. Although blogging seems to take my time, it also seems to keep me more on track with Him somehow-funny how that works huh? Reading so many women's journeys and relating my own life is healing, but the last week or so I have had these nagging thoughts about blogging. I hope you can relate.

-How do these women have the time to do this?

-I mean how can they share something every day?

-How can they write such great stuff?

-How in the world did they make it through that?

-My life is just too busy.

-My life is not that interesting!

-Are they really taking care of young children at home?

-How!!!?

-I can't do this, but God opened the door for me to. I will step through and watch, wait, and pray.

Here I am. There have been numerous other things going through this cranial structure lately also. WHO AM I? See, I think I know who I am in Christ and as a person, but I have sooo struggled with WHAT I should do. Maybe the question is therefore: WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Obviously, I am a teacher by schooling and experience. There are just so many other things I would love to do. Even though I have been home with my son for 2 years now, most people would think I have become bored or had plenty of time to get my baby book done, drawing, reading, writing aspirations out of the way. The thing is, I rarely get bored. I want to do so many things, and of course caring for my lil' guy, hubby and cleaning get in the way of most of those things. (As I'm sure you know about!)

I'm just holding onto the possibility that I will find a paying position to do many of the things I love! Is that too much to ask for? So here is my "Employment Wanted" ad.

Loves working with people! Likes to study the word of God with others and minister to them. Loves the outdoors and hiking, camping, etc. Can draw and watercolor. Likes to write stories and life anecdotes. Loves to read good fiction and realistic fiction. Loves to get fingers dirty in clay and glazes. Can throw a bowl on a potter's wheel. Has enjoyed teaching in the past and seeing kids not want to leave her class because they are so "into" what they are doing, or can't wait to hear the next chapter of a good book. Can also take amateur photos that are pretty good and create neat scrapbooks.

As I sat here to write this, the thought struck me that I already have the job I want. God wants me to be me-this person he's created who loves all of these things. Getting paid to do them is just a bonus. I wish there were other ways to combine my loves, but for now, I just have to accept that they are all there and I can use them (when I permit myself the time!)

We are royalty in His eyes and he cares so much more for us than many, many sparrows, yet not one of them falls without His knowing. The verse below has been one that God has laid on my heart for about a year. It seems to fit every situation amazingly enough!?

And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

The Nails

2009-04-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

Good Friday is so good because we were all given new life if we choose to accept it. It is good because we saw what our mistakes and rebellions really look like on a rough hewn cross with nails and thorny crown, after 40 lashings with a cat of nine tails. It is good because it signified a new beginning for believers, although it seemed like the end of the world to those who first believed.

I have been thinking again about Jesus, my creator God. (John. 1:1-18) I have been thinking that it would be interesting to write from some unique perspective of Jesus' death that Good Friday so long ago. The only thing that keeps coming back to mind are the nails.

From what I have read, it seems the nails used on Jesus body were made of iron. Iron is an element that is found on earth and on Red Giants (stars). It is forged by fire and other chemical reactions that I don't quite know all about.

I am considering the nails because they were a part of God's creation. Jesus knew exactly what they were made of, how they were made (and changed by man) because He made their elements. He knew from a human standpoint what they would do to his hands and feet, but he also knew from a part of the Godhead's view what they were capable of.

If I were the nails, I think I would have quivered and hesitated-maybe even melting before I pierced my creator's precious skin. Imagine the soldiers saying, "What's wrong with this *^%$%#@ nail!?" Iron can be life-giving or poisonous when distributed in animal life. The nails could have been a poisonous dose into Jesus (the creator's veins) or a life-giving one.

Just as Jesus chose not to save himself from this death on the cross, he also seemingly forbid his creation from doing so. I mean think of the cross made of wood, the thorns, the leather (on the cat of nine tails) and the metals used in that whip and in those nails. All of creation could have cried out against this outrage against their creator, but Jesus chose to endure the cross and experience the agony of separation from His Father being fully God and fully man.

And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:8)

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2)

This is a Good Friday, but Sunday is even better! Thank you Lord for conquering death-a choice you made to love us so much. Without the cross we have no forgiveness, without the cross we wouldn't have everlasting life. Friday is good.

Please read more about our Savior here: http://becomingmethruhim.blogspot.com/

Strength for Today, and Bright Hope for Tomorrow...

2009-04-02T10:12:00.001-07:00

So happy Stellan's heart is in normal rhythm-hoooray God is so good! He gave me this encouragement today and I shared it with Stellan's mama. Want to share it with you too!

Little One,

I am here. I know your needs and have called you to my side for this time. Do not fear, nor be dismayed-I am your God. I am God over all the universes, not just here. I am sovereign. I love you with an everlasting, undying, unending love. Come to me and believe in my words for you. I have called you. I have used you. I will relieve you for a time-be renewed, strengthened, be made whole in, my light. I will fill you with my Spirit when you seek me first with your whole heart today and always.

Love,Me (God)

(Okay I am not talking about aliens here... but remember the stars and all their glory-sermon from Life Church-got to email Pastor Tim about that guy's name-you will be in Awe!)

<3<3<3

Sarah's Daughters

2009-03-25T17:07:00.000-07:00

Been wanting to write this a couple weeks now. (Reading Genesis still). I finally came to Lot's wife the other day in chapter 19, and realized I really needed to get these thoughts down. I think all of us can empathize with missing "things" that we once held dear. Right now it seems like people are losing so much that these thoughts seem timely. So here goes...

Lot's wife was living in Soddom and Gomorrah where literally everyone was having sex with everyone it seemed. Two angels came to town and ALL the men came to rape them, thinking they were just men. So, lot offers his daughters to them instead, and tried to protect the angels (great dad huh? More on that in another blog maybe?)

When he (Lot) hesitated, the men (angels) grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the LORD was merciful to them. (19:16)

They all got out! They were safe. Their home was destroyed. All they had was gone. The wealth Lot thought he'd always have (remember he chose the green well-watered garden like land when he split from Abram) was gone (13:10). BUT THEY WERE ALIVE. Until...

...Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.
Gosh, don't you just want to shake her! (Before the shaker of salt she became-Sorry, bad joke!) Seriously though, haven't I done this in my own little world. Whenever I think, "What are we going to do now? How will we survive this? Look at what I am losing. That was my security. That was what I trusted to help me through things. My house, my city, my job, my_____." You fill in the blank. I know it's hard. I am struggling through my own hardships too. I don't want to become a pillar of salt though!

Thank God for Sarah. She laughs at what the Lord says about her bearing a child at 90 years old! I think I would have too. Just remember Abraham laughed when God first told him about Isaac too! (17:17) And this was before the Lord told Sarah.

The thing about Sarah is that she went with Abraham before all these other kings and did exactly what her husband told her to do-say she was only his sister! Now, I know you must be thinking-whoa, I would never do that. That's what I'm thinking. Well, she trusted and respected him enough to be leading her in the right direction. (That's not an easy thing for me to do-how about you?) Two kings were diseased and almost killed because of what Abraham did (chapters 12 and 20). BUT ultimately, Sarah and Abraham were blessed somehow through all these circumstances. And they did have Isaac at both of their ripe old ages!

Now Lot's wife and Sarah may or may not have known each other. As I have read through Genesis the last few weeks I have really been drawn to the women of this period. Specifically, look at Hagar (ch. 16). She met "the God who sees." Then there are Lot's daughters (19:36). Whether their parent's actually lived godly lives before them, we don't know. Apparently the environment of Soddom and Gomorrah left them stained enough to commit this sexual sin though. (Their fiancee's laughed at Lot when he tried to tell them to leave the city! 19:14)
Where is the hope in all of this you may ask?

Well, now we have Jesus and so many other godly women in the Bible and our lives to look at. This verse constantly comes up in my heart when I am struggling with things. (1 Peter 3:5-7)
For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

The beginning of these verses are reminding us how to do it-It's not easy! The most important part for me is to always remember not to "give way to fear." Once I do this, I am free to trust God, my husband, and even that my circumstances will change, but My God won't. Sarah probably never even imagined how many daughters she would have!

PS. For our guys: Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Ultimate Blog Party 2009 Welcome

2009-03-21T20:05:00.001-07:00

Hi, welcome to my place. I have found this cozy little nook in a hidden corner where I can people watch! Come sit with me and we can chat. I love to watch the world go by at a really good party, but I love being part of an intimate group of friends too!

You may have guessed that I am not the huge extrovert here, but I am actually about half and half-with a bent towards introvertedness! (Thus my writing?!) My name is Jennifer and I am wife to a Serbian guy and mom to a 2 year old boy I call "Sugarshine". I am a teacher, artist, writer-wannabe. I'm looking for some friends at this party!

I love to give parties and think of fun things to do there. I can lead a party if needs be (the 1/2 extrovert in me), but really just love to get people together to hang out. Usually you can come over to my house to just sit and chill out. I don't perform or expect others to, but love to watch our kids sing, dance, and giggle!

Of course, food is a must and I love baking sweets, but I know salt must off-set the other. How about some warm, dark coffee, apple cinnamon pie, or fresh bread and spinach dip? Come on in, the food is warm and fresh, the company is enjoyable and friendly. Come sit a spell, people watch or entertain if you have the notion!

I hope to find a new community to become a part of out there. Thanks for stopping by:)

After you comment, please party on!: http://www.5minutesformom.com/5808/ultimate-blog-party-2009/

Here are the prizes I'd love to win! 1. $100 gift certificate to either Pedal Cars and Retro or A Rocking Horse To LoveProvided by: 5 Minutes for Mom 2. $100 gift card to HomeGoodsProvided by: HG Openhouse 3. $40 gift certificate to Carrabba’s Italian GrillProvided by: The Divine Miss Mommy and any of these: 113, 109, 103, 91, 96, 88, 89, 56, 22, 21, 26, 1

Our Tracks Are Covered

2009-03-09T07:45:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if this is actually my mom's memory of me or mine. You know how those go. After you have heard the story about yourself so many times-it becomes your memory.

My mom decided to make bunny paw prints for me when I woke up one Easter morning. She thought it would be neat to use baby powder and (some sort of template?) through the house to lead me to my Easter basket.

Only thing was...I was 2, saw the "mess," so began to clean it up! I had no idea those were paw prints! She tried to get me to follow them, but I just kept trying to wipe them away!

I honestly don't remember if I tried to clean the tracks up because I was afraid or I was trying to be helpful to my mom-I lean towards the latter. But, it made me think about how often I try to clean things up in my life either because of my own insecurities or "helpfulness."

It's much easier for me to see the splinter in someone else's eye when I am focused on them. Especially since I learned to look over the plank in my own eye! (Aha! My dirty paw prints made visible!) Sometimes I clean them up enough because I am afraid of what my God thinks about them. Sometimes I clean them up to try to actually help others. Both of my efforts at cleaning fail until I come to the one who made me and died for me-WOW. What a concept!

The book of John, chapter 1, says this about Jesus. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men...He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God. The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. (Verses 1-4, 10-14)

I have been reading Genesis the last few days, and I am again awed that this Jesus created all these things on earth for us. This Jesus whose birth we celebrate at Christmas is the same one whose death we celebrate at Easter. If he did not die for me, I would not be clean. Those pesky paw prints would be all over me and I could not approach God.

BUT, thanks be to God for Jesus' death on the cross. He was covered in his own blood, sweat and dirt from carrying his cross to Golgotha. He allowed himself to be killed like a criminal and with criminals to give many life. (See Romans 5:18-19) http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%205:18-19;&version=31;

Thankfully, that was not the end. After three days, all Hell literally broke loose, and Jesus was set free! The great good news is that he rose from the grave. He's alive today! HE has RISEN!

Maybe you are trying to clean up a mess that's out of control due to your own fears or even desires to help-Ask God to cleanse you, then you can better help others. Only Jesus' blood can clean and purify us so that we can be saved and made whole as we learn to follow in his footsteps. (Then, our tracks are covered!)

Check out my friend's site for more Easter Blogs to prepare your heart:) http://becomingmethruhim.blogspot.com/

The White Rabbit and Patience

2009-02-25T10:42:00.000-08:00

What was it the white rabbit said as he hurried past Alice? "I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" Lately I feel like I am just surviving my daily routine. I want to live in the here and now, but as you may know a "stay at home mom's" life is less than routine! My friend Erica sent a great blog on the subject... http://teamwessner.blogspot.com/

I feel impatient with my lil' guys when they do something they shouldn't but then I realize I probably wasn't all that focused on them either, which is my job. UGGGGGHHHHH. So, my goal is to plan for them in a more purposeful way than I have in the past. It's about time, and I have been putting it off for to long.

The teacher in me is coming back to life~sort of. I want to start having themed weeks for my toddlers because it helps my creative side stay less random. It will also keep us busier and hopefully learning more. Maybe it will make me hungry for teaching older kids again-I hope!

Maybe it will give me back a minute in my day to sit down with God. Cheryl, a friend of mine has a signature at the end of every email she's sent me and it says "Finding time with God is finding time for me." This gives me perspective once again. Although, I daily feel like I'm running late in the I shoulda's or coulda's categories, spending time with my Creator, Abba, Lover of my soul always frees me up somehow. (Usually with my patience!)

The Treasure of Seasons

2009-02-18T22:04:00.000-08:00

This could be a very spiritual blog if I weren't so imperfect! I would like to write to you from my very logical self about why I chose this name for the blog, etc. etc. But truthfully, I haven't felt that chosen, precious, or treasured. The good thing is, my God tells me that I am. WOW!

Lately, I have been wondering if I am going through a mid-life crisis and I am only 35!!! After staying home to care for my son who's now two years old, and spending a year caring for 2 other lil' guys in my home very close to his age...I really have to think about going back to work next year. (I don't wanna.)

I have been teaching for 6 years. I really enjoyed it, until I realized how much energy it takes. Gosh, it is very draining. Yes, I know it is also rewarding, but not like witnessing all the firsts of your firstborn!

I am an artist at heart and miss the opportunities to use those skills. I often wonder if I ever will use them again like I have in the past. I am sad about it, but feel to exhausted to even try!

Back to the chosen, precious, treasured person I want to feel like...God has reminded me again that I am all these things to Him, and I will do things I love again. BUT, maybe not right now.

Life is made up of seasons. I've been reading this sweet book to my son about "Arnold's Apple Tree" by Gail Gibbons. He wants to hear it like 3 times a night right now. Anyhow, Arnold is very busy with his tree in every season. I guess God feels like that with us. When, I feel down, He reminds me that He loves me. When I wonder why he loves me, he reminds me that I am chosen. When I wonder about why he chose me, He reminds me that I am precious! (I get overwhelmed by His love!) When I bashfully kick my toe ( and say "awww shucks, I ain't that special!") He reminds me that I am treasured in His eyes and kingdom. I know He wants me to live in the here and now-for such a time as this...sometimes it is just hard. I am learning though. I hope to grow in this season for His utter, joyful glory!

Letter for Melissa

2009-02-13T22:53:00.000-08:00

I wrote this in a journal I made for my sweet sister in February last year-before I began blogging, but thought it would be fun to share with you. Maybe it will spur me on to write more again-Sorry It has been too long. I miss hearing from you and reading your blogs! I hope this makes you laugh:)

This book (blog) is for dreaming, scheming, and beaming. This book is for hoping, groping, and sometimes for moping. Please doodle, and noodle or even caboodle in it. Make wishes, do the dishes (please don't be vicious). Have fun, say you won, or have come undone. Cry some tears, talk about past years, or even yer' peers. Make waves, share your faves, or even just rant and rave. Have lots of hope, tell about your soap, or if you elope! Draw a scribble, maybe dribble, or tell a fib-ble. Give thanksgiving, tell about how you make a living, tell about what you're giving (you always have some gift you share!) Write every few days, it probably won't pay, but it will make you feel good anyway. This book (blog) is for you, so whatever you do-do what YOU want to!

PS. Draw your rainbows, kiss some beaus, just not to many bozos though!