I have been on vacation-obviously!!! I thought I could keep blogging and visiting family while trying to heal a bit, but that was not possible. So, now, I think I am back and hope you will forgive me for the huge lapse of time I have been gone:)
I am not sure where to begin exactly. So much has happened in my small world and I am amazed at how God shows concern for such a one as me so often-even in my unfaithfulness to Him.
I want to meet with Him daily, but then get caught up again and again with some trivial thing. Although blogging seems to take my time, it also seems to keep me more on track with Him somehow-funny how that works huh? Reading so many women's journeys and relating my own life is healing, but the last week or so I have had these nagging thoughts about blogging. I hope you can relate.
-How do these women have the time to do this?
-I mean how can they share something every day?
-How can they write such great stuff?
-How in the world did they make it through that?
-My life is just too busy.
-My life is not that interesting!
-Are they really taking care of young children at home?
-I can't do this, but God opened the door for me to. I will step through and watch, wait, and pray.
Here I am. There have been numerous other things going through this cranial structure lately also. WHO AM I? See, I think I know who I am in Christ and as a person, but I have sooo struggled with WHAT I should do. Maybe the question is therefore: WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Obviously, I am a teacher by schooling and experience. There are just so many other things I would love to do. Even though I have been home with my son for 2 years now, most people would think I have become bored or had plenty of time to get my baby book done, drawing, reading, writing aspirations out of the way. The thing is, I rarely get bored. I want to do so many things, and of course caring for my lil' guy, hubby and cleaning get in the way of most of those things. (As I'm sure you know about!)
I'm just holding onto the possibility that I will find a paying position to do many of the things I love! Is that too much to ask for? So here is my "Employment Wanted" ad.
Loves working with people! Likes to study the word of God with others and minister to them. Loves the outdoors and hiking, camping, etc. Can draw and watercolor. Likes to write stories and life anecdotes. Loves to read good fiction and realistic fiction. Loves to get fingers dirty in clay and glazes. Can throw a bowl on a potter's wheel. Has enjoyed teaching in the past and seeing kids not want to leave her class because they are so "into" what they are doing, or can't wait to hear the next chapter of a good book. Can also take amateur photos that are pretty good and create neat scrapbooks.
As I sat here to write this, the thought struck me that I already have the job I want. God wants me to be me-this person he's created who loves all of these things. Getting paid to do them is just a bonus. I wish there were other ways to combine my loves, but for now, I just have to accept that they are all there and I can use them (when I permit myself the time!)
We are royalty in His eyes and he cares so much more for us than many, many sparrows, yet not one of them falls without His knowing. The verse below has been one that God has laid on my heart for about a year. It seems to fit every situation amazingly enough!?
And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14